Starting therapy is a big step, but finding the right therapist can feel just as important as deciding to go in the first place. After all, therapy isn’t just about talking—it’s about feeling understood, supported, and challenged in a way that helps you grow.
So how do you know if a therapist is a good fit? The first session can offer valuable clues. Instead of focusing only on whether you liked them, ask yourself these six key questions to gauge whether this therapist might be the right one for you.
1. Did I Feel Understood Beyond the Words?
Reflect on whether the therapist seemed to grasp the essence of what you were sharing, beyond just listening to your words. Did they capture the underlying emotions or complexities without you having to explain every detail?
2. Did the Therapist’s Presence Bring a Sense of Calm or Clarity?
Consider whether the therapist’s demeanor helped you feel more centered or clear-headed during or after the session. Sometimes, the right therapist brings a quiet sense of calm that helps untangle your thoughts.
3. Did I Sense a Non-Judgmental Space?
Ask yourself if you felt truly free from judgment. Did the therapist’s responses, verbal or non-verbal, make you feel accepted as you are, without pressure to change or present yourself differently?
4. Was There a Moment of Insight or Resonance?
Think about whether something the therapist said or did resonated with you on a deeper level. Did you experience a moment where something clicked, even if it was subtle? This could be a sign of a strong therapeutic connection.
5. Did I Feel Like We Were Moving at My Pace?
Evaluate whether the therapist seemed attuned to your comfort level, neither rushing the process nor holding back when you needed more guidance. A good fit involves a therapist who can adjust to your unique rhythm.
6. Am I Curious About Exploring Further With This Therapist?
After the session, consider whether you feel a sense of curiosity about what might unfold in future sessions. This curiosity can indicate that the therapist is someone who might be able to guide you effectively on your journey.
Other Things to Consider
Give It Time: It’s natural to feel uncertain after the first session. Allow yourself 2-4 sessions to truly assess the fit. The therapeutic relationship takes time to develop, and sometimes initial discomfort is just part of the process.
Trust Your Intuition: If something feels off, trust that feeling. Therapy is deeply personal, and your instincts can often guide you toward or away from a therapist. Don’t hesitate to explore other options if necessary.
Your Therapist’s Honesty: A therapist who acknowledges that they might not be the best fit and offers to refer you to someone else demonstrates integrity. This willingness to prioritize your needs over keeping a client is a strong sign of a moral therapist.
Feedback Matters: Therapy should be a two-way street. If you feel that something isn’t working, bring it up. A therapist who is open to feedback and willing to adjust their approach is more likely to be a good fit.
Consider Your Practical Needs: Factor in the therapist’s availability, location, and fees. These logistical elements can significantly impact your ability to engage consistently in therapy.
Stranger Appeal: Sometimes, the fact that the therapist is a stranger can be freeing. Without the baggage of a personal history, you may find it easier to be open and honest.
After reading all the ideas, you might have a better sense of what it means to find the right therapist for you. To get a better sense of yourself and your preferences you can ask yourself a few questions:
- Did my first impressions of the therapist match what I want to achieve in therapy?
- What does my gut feeling say about the connection with the therapist?
- How do the therapist’s location and fees work with my daily life?